…and then there were three. Sentimentality in smallholding.

We have had a fairly emotional week.  We returned from our trip to see family in England to find our little fragile White Ears had passed away, peacefully while napping in the pasture.  He was always very small and we had to hand feed him to be sure he got enough to eat, so we got quite attached to his sweet little greetings every day.

Today, the two remaining boys had their ‘one bad day’. We found someone to help us with the ‘dispatch’ and the initial butchering, he was considerate and quick. I made my sad good-byes this morning.  We never gave them names and I tried to keep from getting attached- but they have been with us a bit longer than intended (let me just say – big learning curve for us, butchering goats in France is not a common thing).  I don’t regret it – we gave them a very good life, and this is the practicality of what we are doing here.

Some quick thinking on Dom’s part made our freezer into a temporary butcher block, finally a use for those ugly old doors. Unfortunately, because of timing I really couldn’t do the butchering but I did watch and talked through the process with our very efficient and fast butcher. He processed the two carcasses in a matter of minutes. I’ll do the ‘fine’ butchering as we use everything up.

The remaining ladies, Ella, Aretha and Odette now have a bit more space to fill…and should be looking forward to a hot date with a buck in a couple months.  Spring – we start the cycle all over again.

Canicule (heatwave) cooking

Recent hot weather has inspired a bit of chilled food ‘cooking’.  Mostly in experiential stages and just throwing things together.

My go to hot weather meal is a gazpacho….I just use what I have on hand- with tomato, cucumber (remove seeds and skin), red onion, olive oil and sherry vinegar as a base…then maybe a green or red pepper, or some celery (with leaves) or a chili…blend it all up, add some crustless stale white bread and a bit of salt, let it sit about 10 minutes, blend again.  Chill a few hours, maybe top with a few croutons (using up your stale bread) a drizzle of good olive oil, and eat!

I recently whipped up a melon version using the amazing perfumed Quercy melons we have here:

  • ½ melon
  • ½ long cucumber
  • 1/2 clove garlic
  • 1 small shallot
  • Juice of one lemon
  • Salt
  • Olive oil

…blend, chill and eat. Maybe top with a bit of fresh goats cheese or some shredded dried ham (Jambon Bayonne, Iberico or prosciutto).

Another recent ‘canicule’ inspiration was based on a ‘verrine’  from a tapas restaurant in Toulouse (https://lepetitsanseb.com/) , aubergine, tomato and goats cheese. 

Aubergine: chop in to relatively big cubes, toss in salt and olive oil put in a pan and roast for 45 min at 200c.  Puree with a spoonful of thick yoghurt and a dollop of tahini.

Tomato: x3 tomatoes, quarter, toss in olive oil with a clove of shaved garlic, roast for 45 min at 200c (conveniently same as the aubergine!): roughly puree, and if you have sundried tomatoes in oil lying around, toss a couple of those in when you puree

Goats cheese: I used my fresh homemade goats cheese, but any soft goats cheese will do.  A few heaping spoonfuls mixed with some pesto, voila! If you are feeling gourmet you could whip it up with some milk or cream

Layer each ‘puree’ up in a glass (I use old mustard jars, which here in France often don’t have screw top lids and are a perfect size for is sort of thing): aubergine on the bottom, tomato, then top with goats cheese.  Chill a couple hours then impress your friends and enjoy.

A summer taste of home: bread and butter pickles

A number of people have asked for my recipe for Bread and Butter Pickles so I thought I would share – it was given to me by an American friend who lives in Clun which is a village on the Welsh border in Shropshire (thank you Linda!). 

Apart from a little bit of patience it is dead easy and I make at least one batch every summer.  Now that I have my own cucumber plants (three varieties- Russian, long slim and cornichon) slowly taking over their corner of the potager- I suspect I will be making a quite a few batches of pickles this summer.  Let me know if you have any recipes to share.  

For these pickles I have been using the Russian variety – which also look like they would make good big fat dill pickles.  I have a mandoline to slice them and use the crinkle cut – as it reminds me of summer BBQs in the States, with a big jar of pickle slices to put on your likely overcooked hamburger (but tasted great).

Recipe from Linda (American measure- I have made some suggested adaptations to metric)

approx  4 cups pickles

5 1/2 cup [1 1/2 lb./700g] thinly sliced pickling cucumbers [the firmer the better!]
1 1/2 TBSP  (24g) kosher salt
1 cup thinly sliced sweet onion [white onion pref.]
1 cup  (200g) granulated sugar
1 cup (250mL) white vinegar
1/2 cup (125mL)  apple cider vinegar
1/4 cup (50g) brown sugar packed (muscovado sugar)
1 1/2 tsp mustard seeds
1/2 tsp celery seeds
1/8 tsp ground turmeric

1. Combine cucumbers and salt in a large shallow bowl; cover and chill 1 1/2 hours. Move cucumbers into a colander and rinse thoroughly under cold water. Drain well and return cucumbers to bowl. Add onion.

2. Combine sugar and remaining ingredients in a saucepan; bring to a simmer over medium heat, stirring until sugar dissolves. pour hot vinegar mixture over cucumber mixture; let stand at room temp 1 hour. Cover and refrigerate 24 hours. Store in an airtight container in refrigerator up to 2 weeks. 

Tips: Don’t cut the cucumbers too thin. They want to be crunchy! Also you don’t need to wait 24 hours to tuck in!

Striving for…imperfection (and an aside on oily fish)

Living in France has taught me that perfection isn’t always the best goal.  A slightly wonky stone wall is beautiful and wouldn’t look right of someone came and straightened it up (shore it up, yes that is OK, you don’t want it falling on anyone!).

I don’t mean that you settle for less or just accept mediocre…it is more about recognising the value of imperfection….and then (on a short philosophical detour here, bear with me) applying that to your broader view of life.

It is a hard lesson for me, and I fight it all the time. When Dom and I first moved in to the house here I started making lists…never ending lists of what was wrong, what needed to be changed and when we needed to change/fix it (in my mind it was usually, “now”). 

About a year ago we were invited to our friends Laurence and Jo’s house for apéro (a supremely fabulous thing here in France which more often than not includes very tasty food).  Their house is beautiful, warm, classy, welcoming…with high ceilings, lots of wood and manages to retain amazing old features while still feeling ‘modern’.  It isn’t a huge home, but it is lovely and inviting.  While nibbling away on some of the amazing treats Jo had whipped up I was lamenting how we weren’t going to be able to finish all the renovations in the immediate future and we were facing reprioritising a lot of work. 

OK, a little aside here.  I don’t like oily fish.   I want to like it- I appreciate the beauty of the fish, and the health value and when I see gorgeous little tapas with a glistening filet of sardine – I get it, I want to like it. But somehow my mouth is wired in such a way I find the flavour way too intense.  I used to think if I just kept trying it I would finally like it (kind of like avocados and asparagus when I was young, hated them, now I can’t get enough) but no, no matter how much I try, my mouth rejects oily fish.  Anyhow, anchovies in particular are a difficulty (ask Dom who tried to ‘sneak’ some anchovy oil on a salad once…didn’t end well).  I always have anchovies in the fridge, I appreciate what they add to a dish – in small portions – they work in roast lamb or a rich winter meat sauce…or something with lots (and I mean lots) of capers…anyhow…one of Jo’s treats was anchovies that had been sandwiched between two sage leaves, then battered and fried.  I figured I would be a polite guest and try one.  I did.  It was good.  I was shocked.  I still don’t like anchovies, but something magical happens when they join up with sage and hot oil.

Back to my non-anchovy revelation.   Jo responded that my stymied renovations were probably a very good thing…she told me she and Laurence had been working on their home for 25 years to get it where it is, applying their evolving ideas of what worked best and their evolving selves as they lived longer in France (they used to live in London).  She noted I would likely have very different views on what to do with spaces in the house after living in it for a while and I should relax about living within a ‘project’ that would be ever-changing.   

She is so right, ideas of what I’d like to do have already radically changed (and again, getting briefly philosophical), not just with the living space around me- but with myself in that living space. I look around and realise some of the imperfections are good things and I try to stop thinking too much about the end result and just enjoy the journey of living in an old, funky, unpredictable home. 

I’m still making lists, and I am still frequently annoyed with the bathroom next to my office, and the plastic primary-coloured door handles some idiot put on a lot of the doors (what were they thinking, the house was built 200 years ago, yellow and green plastic, really?!?!)…buuuut the terrace is great and it is hard to get stressed sitting on it looking out at the gorgeous countryside I am so lucky to live in.

Jar collecting

Before we moved to France I used to keep jars in the anticipation I would find time/supplies to make delicious jam to share with my friends and neighbours.  The usual scenario was:

  1. Make one batch of something each year
  2. Get really motivated and excited and collect jars until they were spilling all over the floor of my small galley kitchen in North London
  3. Realise I wasn’t going to make anything very soon and recycle said jars
  4. Suddenly get a crate of apples or blackberries…then scramble around try to find jars!

Now, I do have a big stock of jars, spilling all over the floor…but the difference is I actually use them on a regular basis (that said, I probably have a few too many and should probably do a sort/recycling run).  Total mea culpa….I am still learning.  While I can say most of my jams taste fine, I clearly need to learn patience as a few of them aren’t as set as they should be, so a bit more compote-y than jam-y.  Like I said, I am learning. 

My latest ‘thing’ is moving in to cordials and shrubs (and my tried and true goats milk caramel – Cajeta!).  With summer imminent it is time to stock up for sipping chilled drinks on the terrace….and you can only drink so much rose. 😉

My latest effort is a celebration of Rhubarb, with a rhubarb ginger cordial and rhubarb -strawberry compote which is great on yoghurt! (recipe from the fabulous David Lebovitz, replacing the Kirsch with the local aperitif – Quercy des Iles).  Only mistake/new find was grabbing the jar of chestnut honey instead of the acacia for the cordial….I realised once it was all bubbling away (chestnut honey has a strong distinct perfume), but it turns out it works well with the ginger and rhubarb and makes for a pleasantly perfume-y coridal.  Phew.

I have a range of different types of basil, some lemongrass and physalis sprouting on my terrace…so I see some interesting combos coming out later in the summer.  Oh yes, and some blackberries from last year in the freezer I need to use up—hmmm, a blackberry and bay shrub maybe?

When you need a bit of sweetness in life. Cajeta: goat’s milk caramel

What to do when you have too much goat’s milk and you need a little pick me up.  Yes, of course, cajeta! 

OK you probably thought,  “make cheese”, and I have been working on that  – with mixed results (I’ll post that a little later) or maybe ‘ how about some delicious yoghurt”….and that is on the list. 

A tiny backstory- we finally started milking our x2  ‘ex-Rocamadour’ goats Ella and Aretha, in November.  Being a ‘goat milking newbie’ it took a few weeks to get a routine going…and I have gone from about 300mL a to nearly a litre a day. Which is pretty good given we only milk in the morning right now (because of our limited electric fencing/pasture space they are with their kids in the field all day, so we don’t do an evening milk).  In any case we have more fresh milk than we can use, so I am having to come up with creative ways to use it before it goes off.

Ella and Aretha and their feisty kids

Cajeta is a bit like dulce de leche but made with goats milk and a bit of cinnamon.  I am all about the cajeta right now…move over salted caramel, it is cajeta time!  In brownies, on ice cream, on yoghurt (or fromage frais, or fromage blanc), in cakes (especially nice in apple cake), drizzled over fresh fruit, on toast (especially if you have a bit of fresh goat’s cheese underneath) and anywhere else you want a little sweetness on your life.  Cajeta latte? Si si!

Without further ado, here is my current cajeta recipe, adapted from the lovely Isabel Eats blog (which has a ton of delicious recipes for Mexican food).

  • 1 litre goat’s milk
  • 225g sugar
  • 1 cinnamon stick
  • 5g Baking soda (bicarbonate) mixed into 15ml lukewarm water
  • 5ml vanilla

First off – start with a big pot- bigger than you think you need, when this gets to bubbling away you will be surprised at the volume you need to contain!  I use my jam pan – it has a heavy bottom and sloping sides so things reduce quickly.

Put the sugar milk and cinnamon stick in the pot- bring to a simmer over medium heat.  When you just start to see tiny little bubbles at the edge- take the pot off the heat and stir in the baking soda.  Put the pot back on the heat.  Keep a close watch – it will start bubbling up soon…stir continuously until it has calmed down, then you only need to stir every few minutes to keep things from sticking to the bottom.  Reduce over medium heat for about an hour. You know it is ready when it is a deep brown caramel colour, has the consistency of honey and you start to see the bottom of the pan when you scrape the mixture to the side.  Pour in to sterilised jars and keep it in the fridge.  It should last a month or more- but  I suspect you will use it all up before then.

Idea evolution and transformation

So, you know when you discount the first idea that pops into your head (either as way too obvious, or way too unrealistic)….and then it keeps stalking you? Yep, that is me right now.  Without replaying the full history of the last year…part of the ‘dream’ in France was to run a cooking school.  For various reasons I had come to the conclusion that we would still do cooking classes, but more as a small side offering. I just couldn’t see how we could get enough people to make it viable. AAANNNND, I am still not sure how it will work, but thanks to a course I am on (The Ideas Adventure- which is indeed an adventure!) and some amazing creative and supportive people on the course with me, I have been spurred on to revisit the idea and play with a bit since it is something I am really passionate about.

Instead of just throwing whole thing out I am picking it back up and examining it from different angles.  Rather than a simple ‘cooking class’ maybe more of a ’food experience’.  With the wealth of markets, farms, vineyards and stunning produce to draw from in this area there are endless variations of what I could do. So, what next? Certainly not sitting around playing every scenario over in my head.  Now- I need to do.  Try things out, talk to people, get out and meet more of the local producers, share my excitement.

I also now have a slightly abstract list that I keep with me to remind me what really moves me and whatever I do needs to resonate with these:

  1. Allows me to share knowledge
  2. Involves food and wine
  3. Includes creativity/creating
  4. Provides a nurturing/nourishing environment
  5. Is varied in both activity and pace
  6. Allows me to interact with nature/outdoors/animals
  7. Provides a sense of purpose
  8. Provides an opportunity for face-to face interactions
  9. Is inspiring
  10. Is authentic
  11. Provides an opportunity to be with passionate people
  12. …and I get to keep learning new things

In the do spirit – I have scheduled my first dry run food experience for 21 -July (why don’t you join me!)


…and put out a little market research survey to test the waters:


Watch this space to see where it all goes.  The one thing I know for sure is I am happy to be right here, right now….oh, and I still love cheese (and did I mention we are getting goats in July!!).